When You Are Calm, You Are Smart.

“Fear is the main emotion of autism”
Temple Grandin

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you..."

 Yoda

Imagine being in a foreign country where you don’t understand the language, don’t know the customs and don’t have a map.  Confused? Anxious?  Helpless?  Scared? Panicked? 

This is how someone with Asperger’s frequently feels in the social world which is unpredictable, constantly changing, and challenging to translate.   The stress can be directly related to the number of people in the room.  The more people, the greater the anxiety.

Conquer the fear.  Master the skill.

Social skills therapy and training is only part of the answer.  You can’t execute a new social skill if your anxiety and fear is in the way.  Here are 5 tips to conquer fear and anxiety:

1.     Take deep breaths.  Breath slowly through the nose, hold for 2 seconds and exhale slowly out the mouth.  Feel cold air going in, warm air going out.

2.     Repeat a saying in your head.  As you inhale and exhale to help wash away worries, try repeating a phrase.  Try something like “Calm feelings in. Fear out.”

3.     Move your muscles. Stretch your arms and legs while seated or get up and take a brief walk around.  Fresh air can help a lot.

4.     Take a break and relax with a special interest.  Take a 5 or 10 minute break before or during a social situation doing a favorite activity, such as Lego’s, drawing, playing video games or reading.

5.     Talk about it. Telling someone how you feel helps decrease anxiety and the person may also help you find a solution.

Mary B. Moore, LCSW