Thursday, November 4, 2010

Managing Your Feelings: Knowing when and when not to respond...

Being an Aspie definitely has its perks, but reading people’s intentions and reacting appropriately can be very tough for kids like Max. Have you ever seen your child overreact to being brushed up against by a peer, or have you seen them under react to someone hurting them?


It’s helpful to use a color coded system like the one seen here to teach younger Aspies which offenses deserve their attention and which ones do not.  As a parent, you can make a system designed around your child’s specific needs. The next step is to review their code with them. Talk about what constitutes a lower level offense (yellow) versus a higher level offense (orange or red) and how to react to each. For example, if it’s a yellow, "Ignore it," and if it’s a red, "Tell an adult!"  Later, if you see them overreact to a small remark, you can say, "I saw Sally do a yellow, but you acted like it was a red."  What they need to learn is that their reactions should match the level of the offense. So, another example of this would be if you see your child just stand there while another kid bullies him or her, you could say, "When Mark kicked you. That was a red, but you acted like it was a yellow."  Teachers can also benefit from seeing the color-coded system you use with your child so that they can reinforce the system in the classroom.


Dr. Lauren King

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